Each morning as I’ve walk the ridgeline trail we recently discovered, I’ve been greeted by the blooming wildflowers and the many plants with buds readying to open. The patches of color amongst the green are like fairies dancing before my eyes.
On my walk yesterday, I was on the lookout for new flowers, but what caught my eye (and my attention) were the many heart rocks embedded in the dirt path under my feet. I wasn’t thinking about heart rocks at all, yet there they were popping out in my line of vision. Like magic, they showed up and once they’d caught my attention, I kept noticing more and more of them! Some were very tiny and others were large enough that it would have taken two hands to hold them. Why were they showing up like this all of a sudden, when over the past few weeks, I’d never even realized they were there?
It seems they showed themselves in order to get my attention. Lately, I’ve been experiencing a lot of self-doubt. It’s been coming through in my journaling and my daily thoughts. Questions such as “Am I on the right track?” “Is this what I’m supposed to be doing?” “Is this my purpose?” and many, many more have been looming larger than life, creating a lot of uncertainty. What I didn’t realize until the heart rocks showed up is that I’ve even been feeling unloved and experiencing a sense of unworthiness–that “less than” mentality.
For me, heart rocks are a reminder of love–the love that is everywhere. When I get caught up in self-doubt, when that critic–who I call my “Wicked Witch”–starts cackling at me and making me feel a sense of diminishment, I become disconnected from the love that is all around me–both inside and outside of myself. That sense of disconnect puts me on a path of aloneness, isolation, and I begin to swirl. Swirling is that dizzying spinning that leads nowhere–a very different experience from spiraling, which always leads one to something more.
I’ve always loved heart rocks–those regular, everyday variety of stones and pebbles that are shaped like hearts. A friend of mine taught me about them many years ago. When my girls were little, we would go out on walks and intentionally see how many heart rocks we could notice. We would try to leave them where they were, but every so often, there would be one that seemed to want to come home with us. If we brought one home, we would always say a little thank you to the earth for providing this beautiful treasure.
Yesterday, as I began noticing the heart rocks in my path, I started feeling that warm sensation of love. I began hearing the message that I am loved, no matter what. No matter if I have answers to my questions, I am loved and lovable. It’s as simple as that! It’s about just being–being Donna–and not about having to do or accomplish anything. So simple, yet I return to this lesson over and over again. It seems though that yesterday I needed the message to come to me from a source other than the friends and family who continue to support and encourage me. I needed to hear it from Gaia herself. Along with being loved no matter what, it’s all about the intention that I carry everyday. If my intention is to live from my heart center, then no matter where I go or what I do, I am on the right path. A heart path!
The heart rocks showed me what I most needed to hear: a heart-centered life is the answer. A heart path is the path for me to follow. I may not know exactly where I’m headed, but seeing heart rocks along the way let me know that I am truly loved and exactly where I’m supposed to be.
